


Song Cry

by Magicalpotatocorn



Series: Lyrical Love [1]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Beomgyu has a bar, Hurt, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sad Choi Yeonjun, Song Lyrics, Soobin's there for three seconds, Taehyun is sad as well but for another reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:54:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magicalpotatocorn/pseuds/Magicalpotatocorn
Summary: It is rainy, Beomgyu needs someone to sing at his club and Yeonjun is visited by some (metaphorical) uninvited ghosts of the past.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Series: Lyrical Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000425
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	Song Cry

It was one of those days. The sky was blackened with thick clouds. The air was humid and warm. It was preparing for a heavy rainfall. Any moment now, the tears of heaven would start pouring down on the city and its unfortunate inhabitants. 

Yeonjun felt just as gloomy. Breathing in this weather was almost impossible and the last storm a few weeks ago had cut the power of the entire apartment complex off. He had spent the time crying at the memories that always seemed to return. Smiles lit by candlelight, shadows of their intertwined bodies, moist sheets even after all the times they had tried to fix the roof. Whispered confessions of love, almost inaudible. Cold kisses when they barely kept each other warm. 

Yeonjun pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and hurried home. Drops started falling as soon as he closed the door behind him. He made his way to the kitchenette to make himself some fresh ginger tea. While the water was boiling, he took it upon himself to continue jobhunting, something that had become a regular thing after he’d finished college. 

His number one goal was to get his own dancing studio, but his lack of money and experience had set him back for the last couple of years. He hadn’t expected to find work in this area instantly, but it had been 16 months now and he was still working at a dingy café. 

He sighed and poured the hot liquid in a kitten mug he’d found at a thrift store. Yeonjun was about to get back to his laptop to potentially write some new lyrics for the song his friend Huening Kai produced, when a particularly loud burst of thunder shook him to the core. The lights started to flicker three, four times, before everything turned pitch black. 

The only thing illuminating the room was the occasional spurt of lightening. Yeonjun groped for the coffee table to put his cup away. He spilled a bit on the carpet before putting it safely on the flat surface. 

Yeonjun tried to recall where he had planted the candles last time. He used the flashlight option on his phone to look around. He was pleased to see that the device still had plenty of battery left.  
The search for lights ended quickly when he realized he used them all last time. And before. When he attempted to create a romantic atmosphere. _He_ always made fun of him for that, saying that they only needed each other. 

Yeonjun stopped the train of thought. It was no use reminiscing about the past.

He headed back to the living room to get his tea and a duvet. Storms like these could last a while, so he’d better get comfy. Yeonjun settled himself on the sofa, wrapped in the cloth like a burrito with just his head and messed up hair sticking out. He held the mug between his hands that were covered as well, so he wouldn’t burn them. 

While sipping on his beverage, Yeonjun grabbed his phone and saw a ton of notifications, all from the same person. He immediately rang him up. 

“Beomgyu, is something wrong?”

_“Oh my god, finally! What took you so long?”_

“Well, I just got home and-”

_“Nope, never mind, I don’t want to hear your excuses. You are in deep shit, mister. You were supposed to fill in for Taehyun tonight, remember? If I don’t see you on stage in ten minutes, I will fire you!”_

“I don’t even work there, I’m just a stand in.”

_“Then I’ll… I’ll make sure you never stand in again! Just be there.”_

On that note, Beomgyu hang up. Yeonjun mumbled a curse. A few days ago, he had a crying Taehyun on the phone, begging him to sing in Beomgyu’s club in his stead. His grandfather had apparently fallen ill and Taehyun wanted to be at his side. None of his co-workers could fill in for him and Yeonjun was the only other person he could think of. Of course, Yeonjun wanted to help a friend in need.  
And here he was, rolled up on a couch in the dark. Curse the rain, the lightening and Soo-.

Yeonjun shook his head and got up. He threw some more presentable clothes on, a thick coat and grabbed an umbrella. 

The last one would’ve been very useful, weren’t it for the strong wind. The umbrella continuously flew in his face and turned inside out. After a few attempts to keep it steady, he folded it and ran to the club instead. 

The familiar smell of citrus and sweat filled his senses as soon as he made his way inside. On the outside, there wasn’t much to Beomgyu’s club. Just an old, lit up sign that said Scintilla and dusty windows. The interior was, however, very stylish. It had a bit of a surf vibe to it, with the bright, warm colours, the light brown leather seats, fake torches along the walls, lots of plants, a wooden bar and a human size statue of Pele – the goddess of volcanoes and supposed creator of the islands of Hawaii – in one of the corners. 

The stage was not exactly a platform. It was on ground level and consisted of a barstool, a piano with flowers and pineapples painted on it and a music box. The only thing that made it stood out were the spotlights that made little moving shapes of light on the floor. 

Yeonjun didn’t have much time to admire what Beomgyu had done to the place. He got dragged away by the very furious owner.  
“You,” he paused for emphasis, “are late.”

Yeonjun shuffled around a little, feeling highly uncomfortable in his wet pants.

“I tried to get here as fast as possible! I’m sorry I caused you so much trouble…”

Beomgyu sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Well, we shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer, should we? Chop, chop, break a leg or something.”

Yeonjun got pushed toward the changing rooms.

“Oh, you’re soaking wet! Did you bring any spare clothing?”

“I didn’t have the time to…”

“Maybe I have something laying around.”

Beomgyu disappeared for a good minute. Yeonjun took his coat off and put it on a cabinet to dry. He glanced around the corner and was amazed by the amount of people that showed up. He didn’t know the club had become this popular. 

Back in the days, when he was still a student, he used to come here a lot with his friends, Huening Kai, Taehyun, Beomgyu and… well...

The former owner had gotten acquainted with Beomgyu this way and left him the business after retiring. Immediately, the boy had shaken the place up. Modern furniture, new employees, funky drinks, and good music. 

Beomgyu tapped him on his arm.

“I come bearing gifts.”

He pressed a stack of clothes to Yeonjun’s chest and proceeded to push him into the little room. 

Yeonjun came out wearing a simple black and white striped shirt and high-waisted jeans. He combined it with a thick brown belt and his own Clarkson shoes that were still a bit damp. He didn’t really style his bleached hair; he just moved his bangs a bit to the sides of his forehead. 

There was a microphone on his coat. Beomgyu had gone back to the bar and Yeonjun presumed that everything was set up for his performance. A few days prior he’d sent a playlist to Taehyun and he’d made sure that everything ran smoothly.

This wasn’t the first time Yeonjun had done something like this, but he was nervous, nonetheless. He took place on his stool. The soft yellow light made it difficult for him to see any further than a few feet away from the stage. 

He didn’t announce his presence. He just started singing when the music played. 

Yeonjun didn’t really register what was happening around him. People were probably dancing, finding new love, maybe just for a single night, and drinking their sorrows and hardship away. 

The man was in his own world. Alone with the tune. But it didn’t take long for the memories to come back to him. Maybe it was something in the air. The weather, perhaps. It could’ve been the location, where they’d danced so many times together, at one point they’d become one. A complete ouroboros with no end and no beginning. They had known every nook and cranny of the other’s body. What move would cause pain. How to twist to trigger desire. They had drunk each other’s extasy as if it was ambrosia. And deep in the night, they would leave together, as gods. 

Time went differently in their zone. Sometimes slow, tight and on the edge. Sometimes fast, too fast, bringing them close to death. A petite one, that is. 

The last song was on. It was not one Yeonjun had requested, but know it, he did. He used to sing it to _him_ . He had no idea how it had ended up in the requests to Taehyun. After the initial shock he decided to just go with it and pour his heart and soul into it.

_Sometimes I get emotional  
And I can’t seem to find the way  
I’m s’posed to go_

He had been lost for the last couple of months. He had driven something, no, someone away from him. Now there was no one to go to when he was feeling down. And sad, he was. He didn’t have to shed tears to express it. 

_And all these  
So-called people that I’m s’posed to know  
They be the main ones  
Smile up in your face, but behind your back they hate_

Yeonjun felt pressured by other to appear gleeful again. To move on with his life. To forget about him. But he couldn’t. It was like an ugly scar on his chest. Phantom pain. One of his limbs got obliterated. No, he wouldn’t forget. 

He didn’t even hide it well. His friends knew. He could see it in their eyes. Pity and irritation. How could they not, Yeonjun had caused them to lose a valuable friend. 

_So, I hope you know you  
Ain’t the only reason I’m emotional  
My tears fall like water so that I can grow  
Not like I was before  
Tryna make a change  
I need something more_

Sometimes, it was as if life was laughing in his face. 24 and no stable job, no one to settle with and barely enough money to make it. He had said goodbye to his unrealistic dreams. And soon, his realistic ones as well.

A year ago, he didn’t have problems like these. And when he did, his lover used to kiss them away. Just three words and everything seemed brighter again, full of possibilities. 

_I can’t hold back these tears  
Let me cry  
They say a man ain’t supposed to cry_

Now, there was no one to stop him from having negative emotions. Truth is, he was lonely. 

A single tear slipped on his cheek.

_So I’mma let the song cry  
I’mma let my soul cry through these words  
I need to try to free my mind  
Sometimes I need to cry just to easy my hurt_

Mistakes were made. Misunderstandings. From both sides. Yeonjun was confused and jealous. He shouldn’t have been. Nevertheless, it that thrown him in a daze of indignation. Words were said that should never have left his mouth. 

_But when I let the song cry  
Hope you don’t think I still won’t ride for mine  
Every rose needs the rain sometimes  
But know that you can dry your eyes this time  
Let the song cry_

They were hurt. They never tried to put a band aid on the wounds, to heal each other with the right phrases, not cruel ones. They never did. He had left Yeonjun. 

_What am I supposed to do?  
Hold it all together when I think of you?  
In my heart I’m thinking you were gone too soon  
May you rest in peace  
Yet I can’t sleep_

At first, Yeonjun was angry – with himself, with him, with the world. How dare he? Yeonjun gave him a home to come to, love, everything he had to offer. If he was really gone, he had no right to ever come back. 

_It’s my point of view  
Got me in a state of mind, I’m so confused  
Crying raindrops so that I can bloom  
So, what am I to do?_

Then, he was in denial. He isn’t actually gone, right? They didn’t mean everything; he must’ve realised that. Tomorrow, Yeonjun’s love would be back in his arms. They’d cry together, kiss and Yeonjun would make a killer make up dinner.

_I can’t hold back these tears  
Let me cry  
They say a man ain’t supposed to cry_

Finally, sadness. Is he never coming back? 

Yeonjun had cried until there were no tears left to cry and his eyes were so puffy, he had trouble seeing. Even then, his heart wept.

_So I’mma let the song cry  
I’mma let my soul cry through these words  
I need to try to free my mind  
Sometimes I need to cry just to easy my hurt_

Yeonjun opened his eyes. He got blinded by the lights yet again. 

His vision was blurry, but he could make out some figures on the dance floor. No one payed any attention to him. To his agony. 

There was just a single person who was truly listening. He was sitting at the bar, drinking one of the ambiguous liquors. 

Even from this distance and the lighting, Yeonjun recognized him. How could he not? He had touched that back more than a million times. He had winded his arms around that strong neck, cuddling in the dip between his shoulder and collar. The cheeks he had squished, the dimples he had poked, arms that he had carried and had carried him. Lanky form, maybe a little bulkier than before, but still identifiable. 

Yeonjun was not surprised to see the man. It was just something about this day. It was magical and tormenting. 

The other had always loved to hear him sing. He had said that his technique wasn’t the best, his voice wasn’t the prettiest, but he was unique. It gave him goosebumps. 

_But when I let the song cry  
Hope you don’t think I still won’t ride for mine  
Every rose needs the rain sometimes  
But know that you can dry your eyes this time  
Let the song cry_

The singer held the last note for a few more seconds than necessary. He hadn’t intended to, but he didn’t want to break the spell of the moment just yet. 

Then, he silenced. He was frozen in place. His spotlights went out and the dance music back on. 

In his now shadowed corner, he could see that the man indeed was who he thought he was. They held each other’s gaze for what seemed like eternity. Then the other put the drink on the counter and stood up. 

He left again. Into the rain.

It was no use going after him. Yeonjun knew they’d both end up hurt again anyway. So Yeonjun simply brushed the dried tear away.

_“Soobin.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, that was one hell of a journey. For me at least. I've never written angst like this and I hope I kind of pulled it off? Thanks for reading it btw! Have a great day y'all!


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